AW FUDGE!

You may find this hard to believe, but I only regularly watch ONE television show--Biggest Loser. Monday night for two hours my family can only speak to me during commercials. Unless it involves blood or broken bones, do not even try to talk to me during the show. The rest of the family gets the television for the remainder of the week. It seems only fair that I claim it for 2 hours on Mondays, right? I mean, it's not even two hours. I'm on mommy duty during commercials after all.

credit

Well, I watched it tonight as usual, but during this week's episode of inspiring fitness testimonials and emotional breakthroughs......

I ate homemade fudge. 

Yep. I watched those people running, huffing and puffing, and sweating their behinds off while I stuffed my face with melted sugar, chocolate, marshmallows, butter.....you get the point. And I loved every. single. bite.

Seems ironic, doesn't it?

Let me describe my day leading up to 8:00pm, and perhaps you may understand. It really wasn't far from being a typical day in my life, but you know how some days you just wake up with zero patience at all from the start? You wake up, start to get ready for the day, and realize that your kids don't even really know what they are in for today because the patience bucket did not get refilled during the night? Well, that was me. On a normal morning Grumpy Mommy has been replaced with Nice Mommy after a few hours of sleep.

Except this day.

The day began innocent and normal enough, but then I went to Wal-Mart for my typical weekly grocery shopping. It took me THREE HOURS to get out of that place! What?? My 4yo suddenly developed a severe case of ADD and also became deaf. I couldn't fit her and the 4mo old's car seat in the cart and still fit all the groceries, so I spent the entire time inviting, begging, pleading, bribing, counting aloud, and threatening her just to get her to keep up with me. I considered swinging by the duct tape aisle and seeing what I could come up with to keep her nearby, but I was afraid I'd end up on the People of Walmart page.

Before I made it home  out of the store I changed a poopy diaper and a wet diaper, made a bottle and fed the 4mo old, stood in line for.ever. for a free cookie at Subway. (See the part above about bribing.) I could have made cookies faster than they served them to me.

The 4yo begged for a Happy Meal as we drove out of the parking lot, and I was so tired by that point that I caved. Anything for peace and quiet and not having to make lunch. When we got home, she had eaten about three bites and said she wasn't hungry. (Did I mention that lack of patience thing today?) She ended up sitting at the kitchen table choking down cold chicken nuggets and apples whether she was hungry or not. There were tears involved.

(I think she might have been crying too.)

Then the dinner that I had started in the crock pot hours ago should have been finished up lickety-split in about 30 minutes after my DH got home. Just cook the rice, thaw the freezer-meal chicken, heat tortillas, and voila! Yeah. Two hours later we finally sat down to eat. Two hours?? Seriously? Where is Rachael Ray when I need her?

While making dinner I changed a poopy diaper and fed the baby a bottle while simultaneously burning the rice to the bottom of the pan. My darling little shortling must have called my name about eleventy billion times. And just when my head was about to explode on the elventy billionth "MOMMY!" (yelled from her room instead of coming in the kitchen to talk to me in a normal volume), I said yelled, "WHAT??"
Her reply: "I love you!!"
Ack! The mommy guilt! At that moment I just wanted a do-over and a pizza delivery place that would actually drive far enough to deliver pizza to my house.

Well, it was in this weakened state that I opened the cabinet and saw the bag of Nestle Toll House Morsels. I tried to ignore them, but they were calling to me. Somehow they ended up on the counter, and I saw the recipes on the bag. One of them said something about fudge and fast and easy. My head was spinning. I tried to ignore it, but everything became a blur, and a little while later instead of cleaning the table up after dinner I found myself standing in front of the stove madly stirring boiling sugar and evaporated milk...

...while the cat jumped on the dinner table and ate the leftover chicken that was supposed to be for tomorrow's meal. *sigh*...

So I did it. I made homemade fudge for the first time in my life, and I sat in front of those sweaty Biggest Loser contestants and stuffed my face with a big fat chunk of chocolatey  goodness (or maybe two...I really can't recall).

Yes. It was THAT kind of Monday. And I will end it by praying for a dose of patience on Tuesday. For everyone's sake.

If you want the recipe, you can find it here, or look on the back of the bag of Nestle Toll House Semi-Sweet Morsels. Be careful though. The other recipes look pretty dangerous as well.